For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: -
Use a large productive vocabulary across the curriculum (Year 9/10)
Use a wide range of punctuation appropriately and with increasing accuracy. (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
“Do I have to go?” I groan.
“How many times do I have to say it, you’re going.”replied Mum.
I groan again, “ But I hardly know him.”
“If by ‘him’ you mean your uncle, then you do know him; you’ve seen him at family gatherings - and this will be a good chance to get to know him a bit better.”
“ Fine, but why tramping?” I ask.
“ Well, he was going anyway, and your father and I figured it would be good for you.”
“ Good for me!?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it.” Mum replies . “Now, you’d better go pack your bag- remember, whatever you pack you have to carry.”
I roll my eyes and stomp off to my room.
“Remember to leave room for food!” Mum yells down the hallway.
“Fine!” I shout back.”
The night goes too quickly. All too soon I’m standing at the front door, pack on my back, ready to hop into his land-rover. “Well, are you coming or not!” His sharp words cut through my head like knives, interrupting my gloomy thoughts. “Yes” I mutter, hopping in the back. The engine throbs into life and, almost without me realising it, we were pulling out the drive, along our street and out onto the main road heading out of town. The truck is silent. That is, until a dog barks. Just once, but it’s loud enough to draw my attention. Suddenly a chorus of barks booms from….the back of the car?
“Oh, that’s probably Yip. He’s in the back. Banjo too.”
The drive continues in an awkward silence until, thankfully, we turn off onto a beaten gravel road. As the land rover trundles down the road, I hear whining from the back of the truck.
“So” I say, trying to start a conversation, “ You’ve just got the two dogs.”
“What breed are they?”
“How much further.” I ask
The truck veers sharply before coming to a stop beside a parked Subaru.
“There’s your answer,” he says.
I heave my pack on my back, and jump out, then look around. We had parked in a clearing, with about enough room for 10 or 15 cars. Suddenly I sense motion behind me. While I was distracted, Uncle had let the dogs out. The other dog, presumably Yip, let out a volley of barks and bounded over to me. Suddenly I’m surrounded, as the two dogs sniff and jump all over me. “ Come on” calls Uncle Jay. The dogs race over to him, so I follow their lead and run over to him. “ Steady on, you’ve got the whole walk ahead of you.”
I sigh, slow down and start walking slightly behind him.
I soon find out that Jay is quite a fast walker. After a few hundred metres the track begins to climb quite steeply. I slow, expecting Jay to do the same, but, to my surprise he powers on with the same power, perhaps even more than before. I jog to catch up.
As we walk, I find myself just following his footsteps. I hardly notice when we enter a forest after what must have been only an hour and a half although it feels like a lot more than that. I slowly begin to fall behind. Suddenly a fog rolls in. I gasp, as I immediately return to my senses. Suddenly I realise that the track is no longer beneath my feet. As I spin around I have a sudden realisation;the dogs are gone. Since I fell behind, every few minutes one or both of the dogs have come whirling back up the trail, perhaps sent by their master, to check on me. They haven’t came for a while though. Strange. I backtrack my steps until I find the track. I huddle up in a ball to wait.
The wind comes. Whistling over my body, freezing cold, like winter's greeting. I shiver. It takes a few moments until I realise what the wind means; the fog is clearing. As the wind rushes through it, the fog curls into strange shapes. It would have creeped me out, except for the fact that it meant the fog was leaving.
After I while, about 10 minutes the fog had practically cleared. I got to my feet and began to tread down the trail.
I soon reach the hut. Both dogs come bounding over to me. I grin and head inside carefully shutting the door behind me, to keep the dogs out and the warmth in. “Hello,” says my uncle. “I almost thought you’d got lost.”
“ I di…” I start to say, but it catches in my throat. “No,” I lie, “I guess I just walked slow.” He grunts, but seems convinced, so I ask: “Where do I sleep?”
He smirks and points to the floor. I groan.” Nah I’m kidding,” he says pointing to a door. I sigh, and go in.
It turns out that I have a good time, and more importantly, the rest of the school holidays goes as planned.